January 4th, 2016. Today, I started Whole30. I thought I should document the adventure. There is a “sugar dragon” referenced like a gazillion times in the Whole 30 book. The sugar dragon might be my best friend – I love ice cream so much. And icing. And anything sweet. My boyfriend, Treston, and I are going to try to slay the sugar dragon and not be sleepy all the time. Soooooo Whole 30.
I tried to name this page Callie Takes Whole 30 2k16 (Callie gets taken by Whole 30 2k16) but that was just a really long title. I am 12 hours in and I’ve eaten a larabar and black coffee. Pray for me.
Day 1 – I survived it. Praise the Lord for larabars. And coconut oil – which I used to scramble eggs and it was actually delicious! I babysat that night for a family who is also on Whole30 so they made some fantastic chicken not-noodle soup, which was exciting because it was hot and not a larabar. And I munched on cashews because the third-grade boy showed me his nutella jar and reminded me I couldn’t eat it. Upon returning home, my dad informed me that some potato chips are Whole30 acceptable. Treston and I proceeded to eat a quarter of the bag while watching How I Met Your Mother. Nailed it.
Day 2 – still hard. My heart breaks when I look at chocolate. I just want icing. I might have slept most of the day – an occurrence that started my junior year of college. Doctor said all my sleep hormones are fine so like idk. But I pulled a sweet 3:30-10:00 workday. And by sweet I mean I got to work at 9 a.m. today (Wednesday/Day 3) to avoid ever doing that again. The point, however, is that I am grateful for apples and H-E-B almond butter that they grind like in-store. It’s straight magic. Dinner with a friend at Whole Foods – discovered that I do not like roasted squash. But the guy at the taco bar took pity on me and gave me a free cup of guacamole. BLESSED. Also thanking the Lord for plantain chips and, of course, guacamole.
Day 3 – trying to get used to black coffee. I love cream and sugar so it’s been a rough transition but like also a major first-world problem. As it would turn out, Chipotle is Whole30 friendly! As long as your bowl contains chicken, guac (tons of it), veggies, salsa and pico. It could be worse. Furthermore, I had a larabar for breakfast. Classic. I made salad dressing and chicken for dinner, taking my domestic skills from an 8 to an 8.5 so I feel fantastic about that 🙂 Also I cannot stop eating plantain chips. I am desperate. While watching How I Met Your Mother, Marshall and Lily had a wedding cake and I wept within my soul. I want cake. It’s fine.
Day 4 – Ode to larabar. Oh larabar how dear you are to me. No other granola bar has your perfect combination of carbohydrates and protein, while remaining under the umbrella of Whole30-acceptable ingredients. Thanks to you, sweet larabar, I can sleep until the last possible second, because I know that I can take you on the road for breakfast.
In other news, I am trying so hard to drink black coffee. As of now I miss cream in my coffee. My life is in shambles but I have faith.
Day 5- I feel like a water buffalo mauled me in my sleep. There is so much drainage in my face I am the actual Panama Canal. This might have been tmi- I apologize. I want icing on a spoon. And chocolate. In exciting other news I ran three miles after a month long hiatus because of the water buffalo/Panama Canal situation! Downside- although my body still works, so do the clouds. It poured the whole time. My phone spent a few minutes in a rice bowl upon return. I ate chicken and soup and plantain chips for lunch – with guac obviously. Also ate the most beautiful pear I have ever seen. Bless you, fruits.
Day 6- I ate apples and almond butter for breakfast because you do not need to cook it. Apples require no scrambling and therefore have become a morning staple. Nommed on some obscenely healthy food for snack and as it would turn out, Torchy’s is whole30 friendly! If you order it in a bowl. And tell them you are allergic to gluten. And ask for no beans or corn. Or anything. It is a bowl of meat and peppers. But somehow still delicious!
When I got to Bryan to see Treston’s family, he immediately initiated a very serious conversation.
“Callie what if we quit whole30 and ate ice cream?”
“Ugh let’s do it”
We then ran downstairs and pounced on some frozen cookies that were thawing on the counter. In the words of Treston’s dad, we attacked the helpless cookies like crack addicts. And that’s how whole30 became whole6.
Day 0- On the bright side I plan to continue with whole30 until I lead a dnow at the end of January! I will restart tomorrow, obviously, since I made chocolate mousse today and regret nothing.
Day 2.1 – Today I restarted Whole30 with the intent to do it for two weeks and then reintroduce dairy and pray I’m not allergic because if I can’t have ice cream, my life is over.I also slept for thirteen hours, which is not normal and I kind of hope I’m allergic to something so I can not eat it and then not be so tired all the time! I miss the chocolate mousse I made, but my family loves it so it’s fine 🙂 I would like to reiterate my appreciation for guacamole, God’s gift to mankind besides His son Jesus. I bought some ground Turkey for like $6 a pound at Whole Foods and made it for dinner, which was super easy and pretty delicious so that worked out well! Obviously I put guacamole on it. Guacamole belongs on everything. Bless you, guacamole.
Day 2.2 – This morning I went to CrossFit where obviously I did the lowest amount of weight possible and still struggled. I also attempted double unders, which are the spawn of Satan in the jump roping world, and instead of succeeding I destroyed my arm with the jump rope every time I messed up, which was about every other jump. NAILED IT. Furthermore, I nailed it again when I hate a breakfast of scrambled eggs and guac, of course, and some blackberries. Then slept for three and a half hours. I don’t want to say I am a next level fitness inspiration, but like maybe.
I would say I nailed it. JOKES. Turns out Whole30 is really hard. Obviously, because I lasted like five days max. Now that I’m in medical school, an institution that is weirdly akin to high school, I’m seeing new dimensions to the Whole30 Diet. So much of socializing revolves around food – would Whole30 prevent us from engaging with community and nonbelievers? I think this is definitely something to be wary of if doing Whole30. Will Whole30 promote unhealthy food behaviors and/or obsessions? I still might do Whole30 sometime soon because my stomach is a perpetual mess and I’m so desperate to know what’s causing it, but I have to make sure that I’m eating plenty of calories and not doing Whole30 for aesthetic reasons. So much of what I learned in writing my thesis, going to nutrition therapy and even in medical school has taught me that food is food and fats, carbs and proteins are all broken down in their own way, regardless of where these three macronutrients come from, whether twinkie or sweet potato, whether red meat or fish. I also know that most of us have the necessary enzymes to break down dairy and gluten, although there are definitely exceptions to this!
So be wary of going to food as a little g “god.” Cutting out a lot of food groups isn’t a secret to overcoming gluttony. It’s not a sustainable method of weight loss. It’s a good way to see if there are foods that bother your body and then adjust your diet accordingly! But I’ve played that game where I was convinced if I just stopped eating sugar, I’d stop craving it. Unfortunately, that’s just not true. We NEED carbohydrates to survive! And the carbs from potatoes are broken down the same way as the carbs from M&Ms 🙂 So to cut out sugar altogether would be, well, not good at ALL for our red blood cells and brain that run almost exclusively on glucose. God is God and food is not 🙂 And restoring a healthy relationship with food requires more than just doing Whole 30 – for me it took counseling and a lot of prayer! But Ephesians 3:20 tells us that God is capable of doing more than we ever expected. Countless stories in Matthew, Mark, Luke and John give account of Jesus FULLY healing people. This is our God. Our God is perfectly capable of full healing and desires that we draw close to Him in order to reconcile our relationship with food.